A Journey Back To Yourself
Childhood is supposed to be a place of safety — a period of innocence where children are protected, nurtured, and encouraged to grow without fear. However, some children aren’t so lucky. They suffer neglect, emotional pain, instability, or abuse. The impact is long-lasting and affects adulthood as well. It lingers in the body, the mind, and the way the individual relates to themselves and others. Healing from childhood trauma is not about “forgetting” the past; it is about understanding it, processing it, and slowly reclaiming the sense of self.
Comprehending the trauma
Childhood trauma can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, physical or emotional neglect, inappropriate expectations, witnessing of violence, inconsistent caregiving, abandonment, bullying, or growing up in a highly stressful environment. Moreover, experiences that may seem trivial to others can be deeply traumatic to a child whose nervous system is still developing.
When a child is repeatedly exposed to stress or danger, their brain goes into survival mode and stays there. The state leads to complications in adulthood such as anxiety, difficulty trusting others, emotional numbness, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or chronic self-criticism. Many survivors of childhood trauma are convinced and full of negative self-talk in that they are “too much,” “not enough,” or fundamentally flawed. Recognizing that these beliefs were shaped by difficult experiences — not by who you truly are — is a powerful first step toward healing.
Acknowledging the pain
Healing begins when an individual acknowledges that what they suffered mattered. Many people turn a blind eye to their pain, thinking, “Others had it worse,” or “It wasn’t that bad.” Trauma cannot be quantified and thinking in this way invalidates your own experience.
Instead, individuals should be encouraged to say: What happened to me was painful, and I deserved better. This does not mean blaming others forever; it means honoring your truth. Individuals can explore these candid admissions through journaling, speaking with a trusted friend, or working with a therapist.
Regulation of the nervous system
Trauma lives in memories and also in the body. Trauma sufferers can struggle with panic, dissociation, or the constant feeling of being “on edge.” Healing, therefore, incorporates ways of learning to calm and regulate the nervous system.
The nervous system can be regulated through practices such as deep breathing, mindfulness, yoga, or gentle movement that helps the body feel safe again. Grounding techniques — like focusing on what you can see, hear, and touch — can be especially helpful during moments of emotional overwhelm. In order to fully heal, however, it is necessary to move through the negative emotions. This is far easier to do with the support of a trained therapist.
Reparenting yourself
One powerful healing approach is “reparenting,” which involves giving yourself the care, protection, and validation you may not have received as a child. You can repent by speaking to yourself with kindness instead of harsh criticism (but don’t forget to speak kindly to your inner critic too!), setting healthy boundaries, and paying attention to your needs.
A question like What did I need as a child?, may show you the path forward. Perhaps what you needed was for someone to listen to you, someone to comfort you, or someone to encourage you. The healing starts when you take the initiative to gift yourself the things you missed through self-compassion, creative expression, rest, or cultivating supportive relationships.
Building safe relationships
Childhood trauma often affects interpersonal relationships. Some individuals are overly independent at the cost of avoiding intimacy, while others develop clingyness holding on to a relationship out of the fear of abandonment. Many people enact both of these patterns. Healing involves the process of learning to trust again–to trust others, but most of all to trust oneself. A person needs to trust their own ability to judge which people are trustworthy.
This does not mean forcing yourself into toxic or unsafe relationships. Instead, a trained therapist can help you learn to use your own natural abilities to identify people who respect your boundaries, listen to you, and treat you with kindness. Healthy relationships can help rewrite old patterns and show you that connection can be safe.
Seeking Professional Support
While self-reflection and self-care are important, healing from childhood trauma often requires professional support. Therapies such as trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or somatic therapy can be highly effective.
A trained therapist can work with you to help you process painful memories, challenge negative beliefs, and develop healthier coping strategies. Know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness — it is a courageous step toward reclaiming your life.
Also read: How EMDR Therapy Helps Heal Childhood Trauma
Practicing Patience and Self-Compassion
Bear in mind that healing is not linear. There will be days when you feel stronger, and days when old wounds resurface. Progress may be slow, but even small steps count — be it setting a boundary, expressing your feelings, or simply resting — every step is crucial to your healing journey.
Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a hurting child. Remind yourself that you are not broken; you are learning how to feel safe, whole, and alive again.
Moving Toward a New Narrative
As you heal, you begin to see yourself not as a victim of your past, but as a survivor with strength and resilience. Your childhood may have shaped you, but it does not have to define you.
You can replace old negative thought patterns with new beliefs about yourself. Instead of saying “I am unlovable,” you might begin to believe and affirm that you deserve care just like everyone else and say, “I am worthy of care.” Instead of “I must be perfect to be accepted,” you can embrace, “I am enough as I am.”
Healing from childhood trauma is ultimately a journey back to yourself — to your authentic emotions, your creativity, your capacity for joy, and your ability to love and be loved. It takes courage, patience, and support, but it is entirely possible.
Your past does not have the final word. You do.
If you’re looking for childhood trauma therapy on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York, Laura Pearl uses a combination of therapies to help you find your way back to yourself.
